Wiley Fork News

Tick Tock

2008-09-25T22:17:00.007-04:00

And it seems like time is flying. Everything lately has been such a whirlwind that I can barely find time to enjoy the planning aspect of this wedding. Joel had his first of three bachelor parties last night. Lucky guy...I'll be happy to just have one. But any who this is just a touching base point to let you all know that we are only 23 days away!! To those of you who responded (whether it was an accept or a decline) I appreciate it. To those of you that haven't...seriously it has a stamp on it just put it in the mail. My grandmother didn't even write on hers but at least she didn't let the stamp go to waste. My bridal shower was amazing. I don't think it couldn't have been a prettier day and I had such wonderful hostesses. My favorite thing was the picture Joel's Aunt Kitten painted. It made me tear up. And my friends were making sure to snap pictures since that isn't a usual thing. Now lets get down to business. I need to mail out the wedding weekend packets to all of my out of town guests. It is just going to be a map of Tucson, a wedding weekend itinerary, and a list of places to go and things to do as well as a few contact numbers of people in Tucson. (these are to only be used if you are lost or if you have some crazy emergency! LOL!) What i need from all of you is where you are staying so that I can send you directions on how to get to the Rehearsal Dinner as well as the church from your hotel. I am mailing these out next Friday so try and get to me by then because after that I will be in lock down bridal mode and wont have time to do any of that stuff and basically if you snooze you lose. On lighter note Joel and I had our engagement photos taken about a month ago. Here are some of our favorites!

Flight Update!

2008-07-20T14:29:00.002-04:00

If you are looking to buy plane tickets now is the time!! Right now the most cost effective trip is from Louisville to Phoenix. I know I know the wedding is in Tucson but Phoenix is only an hour and a half north of Tucson and most of you will need to rent a car anyway. Right now Travelocity is quoting tickets leaving Tuesday October 14th and retuning Monday October the 20th at $132.00 round trip! Plus taxes that turns out being only $176.00 per ticket. So I suggest all of you take advantage of this if you can!

Ah....The Old Pueblo.

2008-07-18T20:48:00.010-04:00

Well guess what today is? No no no other than Friday! Today marks exactly three months until Joel and I get married. I absolutely cannot believe how fast time is flying by. In fact next week Joel and I will have been dating four years and that in itself makes me realize how its about time that we get married. So with that said it is probably wise to say that you all realize that time is passing as well and are antsy to book your hotel rooms. I myself am a procrastinator and am always looking for a bargain so i will wait till the last possible minute to book Joel's room. Really anything to save a buck.
Anyway with the hotel situation in Tucson there are obvious places I want you all to avoid. I am not here to tell you where to stay but to give suggestions and tell you where not to stay. Avoid any hotel that is on the south, west or southwest side of Tucson. That is a really rough area and I myself would not stay there no matter how good of a deal it is.The following hotels I am going to list are all within 14 miles of my wedding site. Since the Saguaro Buttes is out in the desert the closest hotel is about 7 miles away.

These are the top three hotels that I would stay at due to proximity as well as quality.

The Raddison Suites Tucson
6555 EAST SPEEDWAY BLVD
Tucson, AZ 85710
(520) 721-7100

This hotel is about 10 miles away from the Saguaro Buttes and is near various shopping centers. It has an onsite restaurant as well as a bar. Right now the best rate I could find was on Travelocity for $120.42 a night but you can save an extra fifty dollars if you use a master card to book the hotel by July 31 and enter in the promo code SAVE50 at check out. This price applies only to the suites. For some reason the standard rooms are more expensive. And for those of you who are picky about your beds they offer premium rooms with Sleep Number beds for about 15 dollars more. I already have a few guests that I know are staying here.

The Courtyard by Marriott Tucson-Williams Center
201 S Williams Blvd
Tucson, AZ, 85711
866-539-0036

This hotel is definitely for the traveler who is looking for convenience. It is less than a quarter mile away from the Park Place Mall. Down the street the street from a Target and there are at least ten recognizable restaurants within one mile of the hotel. They offer complimentary cooked to order breakfast in the morning which is another great thing that I know will win some of you over. This is more centrally located in Tucson but is still about ten miles away from the Saguaro Buttes. This hotel is going on the travel websites for about $139.00 for a standard room with a king bed.

The Hilton Tucson East
7600 East Broadway
Tucson, Arizona 85710
(520)721-5600

This hotel is another one that is very convenient. It is about a mile from the Park Place Mall and Tucson's "Restaurant Row" and only 7 miles away from the Saguaro Buttes. It has free in room Wi-fi service for those of you looking to bring your laptops. There is an on site restaurant and bar but unfortunately no complimentary breakfast. It is in the final stages of a multi-million dollar renovation so I'd say it will be in tip top shape by October. A king or two queen room right now is going on Travelocity and the Hilton website for $130.00 a night.

I have chosen not to reserve a block of rooms anywhere mainly because I know from past experience costs are likely to bounce around and I want you all to get the best rate possible. The main suggestion I am going to make is to surf around the various travel websites to find the best deals. Some are better than others so don't settle for the first price you see. I know that everything seems really pricey but that is just because I am suggesting places I know that will make the quality of your trip enjoyable. October is also the prettiest time of the year in Tucson so rates are going to be a little higher. If you really don't care about quality and are looking for a cheap hotel I have a few suggestions as well.

Ramada Inn Suites Foothills
6944 E. Tanque Verde Road
Tucson, AZ 85715

Is around $85.00 a night for a standard room.

Randolf Park Hotel and Suites
102 North Alvernon Way
Tucson, AZ 85711

Is around $74.00 a night for a standard room

I hope that all of this has been helpful to everyone. Please feel free to post any questions you might have and I will gladly answer them.

It's Alive....It's ALIVE!!

2008-07-13T14:01:00.003-04:00

As promised I am reviving this blog so that I can help all of my out of town guests make travel plans for Joel and my self's quickly approaching wedding. I know a lot of people have some questions about where to stay and where to fly into and I plan to help you all out and make this process as painless as possible. I was originally going to send out packets of info to people but I thought that passing along information via world wide web would be much more cost effective and possibly save some trees. You all know that Joel and I are getting married in Tucson in October and I'm sure for all of you it will be your first time heading into Southern Arizona. Just a few words of advice...the weather in October is still very warm so don't pack for fall and bring plenty of SPF. If you see a Mexican person no matter how much you are tempted do not yell "ORALE Vato !". Cacti are not soft so don't get too close to them...in fact some of them even jump. And finally I advise that all of you take full advantage of all the great Mexican food places and local eateries that Tucson has to offer. I know that most of you are not extremely adventurous when it comes to food but I don't think I will lead you too astray when I post my places to eat blog. Also feel free to ask questions and comment. I know I am extremely difficult to get ahold of phone wise....part of living in E. KY is the shotty cell service and this will be primarily the way I can get a lot of info to a lot of people. So spread the word that this blog is here to the rest of la familia.

Coming this week!!..........Where do I stay in Tucson?

Joel....

2007-03-03T18:20:00.000-05:00

So for those of you who don't know...Joel was put into the on Thursday with what we thought appendicitis. Two hours later we found that he in fact had Crohns Disease and that he had to undergo surgery to remove an infected part of his small intestine. I have been spending the evenings with Joel and he looks to be doing better each day (Today he ate some Jello YAY!!!). All I ask is that you keep him in your thoughts and prayers. I will try to keep an update as much as possible but it looks like Wiley Fork News might be on a longer hiatus than planned. Thanks for everyones support...we appreciate it more than you will ever know.

Spoiled...

2007-01-25T01:54:00.000-05:00

As UK Wildcat fans we are SPOILED.

We are spoiled because:

-we expect a win every time.
-we expect a win every time at Rupp.
-we expect a win at any SEC conference game.
-we expect 6 wins at a SEC conference tournament...shit, they call it CATlanta!
-we expect a Fitch, Hayes, Bogans, Prince, Shepard, Mashburn, Anderson, Mercer, Walker (Antoine and Kenny, Delk, Nazr, McCarty, Ford, Feldhaus #12 (my personal fav), Farmer, Hansen, Chapman, Macy, Issel, or anyone else before my time to make every shot Joe Craw(fish)ford misses.
-we expect UK to come from behind and beat everybody like they did LSU in 1994 a 31 point comeback.
-we expect UK to win no matter what the circumstances...and friggin' Simatuinalalafrigga Gaines (GA) is no excuse.
-we expect a coach to come dominate like Pitino (love him or hate him...the man owned Lexington and the SEC.)
-we expect the coaches son to suck.
-we expect that Duke is our one true enemy...David Kyle, I don't know why I didn't beat you for wearing a D(UK)E hat to Christmas...well, it's still at Ruth's.
-we expect any game at tobacco road to be tough, but we'll win.
-we expect UK to be the Florida GAYtors easily (can't you see the spread w/Bogans raising the roof on the front page of Lex Herald.
-we expect UK games to be played even though there is 24 ft. of snow at Lost Creek.
-we expect Altro Cable to have UK's game on regardless if it's on Ch. 96 or Ch. 4.
-we expect Pam to pop for reals popcorn when UK is playing.
-we expect Randowski to eat all the for reals popcorn.
-we expect Ruth and Jess to walk to the house to watch UK no matter the weather conditions.
-we expect UK to win...and thats why we can't help but watch every game until the buzzer, because we always have hope that the Big Blue will always win.
-we expect UK to run full court press the whole game and dominate.
-we expect Chris Latewear to throw up a shit shot to end a game.
-we expect UK to make it to the Elite 8 or Final 4 every year.
-we expect not to watch U of L games at Lost Creek, but David Peden is a closet UK fan; therefore, we may watch a U of L game here and there (only when he visits).
-we expect Midnight Madness will become a holiday soon, and
-we expect the USA Freedom Eagle will ride a Wildcat into battle very soon...true story.

Peeps, I have been disappointed that UK has lost before, but the loss to Georgia hit me hard...what the heck? Jon, I know ya feel me. I will still watch and cheer on the True Blue no matter what and become a JUKE-BOX HERO!, he's got stars in his eyes!

T-day is a great day!

2006-11-21T15:07:00.000-05:00

What's that smell...oh, it's the turkey and oyster dressin' yo! I am so excited about Thursday I just about crapped myself everytime I think about it. Chase, I haven't seen you in about a year, and I;m really excited to catch up with you. Jon, I haven't seen you in about a month, I think. I watched the Cats play last night and I really never noticed Joe Crawford's shitty play until I read Jon's blog (about Crawford) and saw him miss the rim and bank of the whackboard...Jon you are right. I beleive the Cats have a team that resembles a backyard pick-up team. They have Helter-Skelter defense and offense, but that strategy works sometimes. Just ask some of the backyard legends like: Fugates times 3 (Mike, Jelly-roll, and Jesse (The Fly). I watched UK run around the floor with no likeness to a play or plan, and I even think they broke off some Rustoleum plays like: 1-3-1 and maybe Double O...you know what I'm talking about. I did not know Rusty Hall was an assistant to Tubbo. I will say that I am impressed with UK's freshman class and that keeps the glimmer in my eye, but of course I really don't need to say this, but we all are jealous of who gets to put that uniform on...if they only had a coach (sing in tune to Wizard Of Oz).

In unrelated news, things here in Knott County are as usaual and things are slowing down quite a bit. I recently purchased Madden '07 which is like every other Madden foosball game...only a year later. Andy Templeton is rocking the house chasing the laser. Alex had finally got a spot on WKCB (the killer bee) web site. Check out my girl: www.wkcb.com/alex.html. I believe there are some hilarious caption under her pics. I also made the news check out this column in local paper: www.troublesomecreektimes.com/pages/front/. You'll need to scroll approx. 3/4 the way down page to find the article. Well I'm out and pumped about greetin' and meetin'...that is greeting family and meeting a turkey or turdkey...I'm out!

Tucson and everything after.

2006-10-13T01:13:00.000-04:00

Hey la familia' how are y'all doin? Well, I'm back from my mighty vaction from the very warm southwest. I really don't know where to start. It was such a wonderful vacation, and I saw so much that I know I'll forget something. I kinda thought of what my vacation blog might be while in Tucson, so here we go! The top 5 things I thought I would never ever do.

5) Being happy to come back to Wiley Fork. The vacation was so great, but leaving a lil' baby cat was not that cool. We missed that lil' fella' something awful, but we had some of the best babysitters take care of Andrew Templeton...thanks Rilo and Lauren.
4) Swim in the Pacific. The high in San Diego when we were there was 78 degrees; therefore, the Pacific was a cool 64 degrees. I realized that when I got in the ocean I was the only one not in a wet suit.
3) Drive through a desert. We drove through some sand dunes and Devil's Gulch desert...our temperature gauge in the car said it was 106 degrees outside. Yes, that is very hot...it's a dry heat my butt.
2) Fly in an airplane. Flying is great...it beats driving. Here is my personal feelings on flying, "You're so high, you just don't care!"
1) Mexican 2-step to a "Selenas" song. Yes, during Alex cousin's wedding I broke it down to the more popular Selena song "Bidi Bidi Bom Bom" and I really don't know what I did 'cause I don't even know what a Mex 2-step is, but I was informed that I did it.

My top five list isn't the only thing that went on in Tucson and A Whale's Vagina, er San Diego. The flights out and back were great and on the way home I came into contact with a complete and utter douche bag. Our flight from Dallas to Louisville was complicated by "that guy" on the plane. This guy was "the guy" who was the loud mouth when boarding the plane that you knew he would want to talk to everyone neighboring his seat. In the first 10 minutes of sitting on the plane, this douche got to know everyone in front and behind him. After we reached flying altitude, the drink cart made way to him and left 4 mini bottles of vodka with him. Upon seeing this idiot w/the alcohol I was very hot because he was sitting in the emergency aisle, and if the worse happened Alex and my life were depending on him. This retard looked like Dennis Leary or William Dafoe and he was wearing a khaki Hawaiian shirt with jhorts. Yes, this man qualifies to be a real "man" of genius. After drinking the vodka on the 2 hour flight, this retard was lit. He managed to talk to some unexpecting chap who informed Mr. Leary that he was going to Utah, and wouldn't you know it, Leary told the chap that he would love it saying, "I lived in Utah for a winter...you'll love it!" Well, he also met some older gals who were goin' to the gambling boats on the river in Ky/IN. He told them this if you can believe it our not, "Oh...you'll love the boats. People in Ky are great and laid back...you'll love it." Apparently we had Carmen Sandiego on board. After we landed in the 'Ville, our baggage took about 35 minutes to come out on the carousel...Mr. Leary was the only person smiling and just looking for another person he could spread his clap to. Thank you Mr. Worldly Man on a Plane.

In Tucson, the food was great...the zoo was cool...the mariachis were the coolest at the wedding. We really didn't stay in San Diego, but we stayed in a small surf town called Encinitas. Encinitas was awesome and I can't wait to go back. Before we left the San Diego area, we ate at a restaurant named "Coco's Bakery and Cafe." This place was probably the best score of the vacation. I ate a lobster and avocado omelet that was the shit times 50. I loved it! I could talk a whole lot more about everything, but we took so many pictures that I'm gonna post the pics and explain them.

For the past two day here on the Fork, I had one of my best friends visit us here in Knott County. Mr. Aaron Epperson made the trek to Wiley Fork for a two day visit. The visit was great and Aaron enjoyed himself here at the Fork. We decided that if we could talk Aaron in to staying we just let him live with us, but he declined. The two days consisted of a lot of references to the greatest apartment on Spangler Drive, the one we lived in. Well, this blog is too long...peace out!

Hello...machine.

2006-09-20T23:41:00.000-04:00

What goes? How are the folks in blog world a doin? If you all are doin' alright that is great, but a couple of things are runnin' a train on a my mind! Why does a kitty cat want to show you lovin' at 4:00 in the morning? Why does a katee want to eat all the hair ties your fiancee' has? Why does the kitty want to climb every curtain you have? Why does the cat want to lick your face when you've been asleep for ten minutes? Why does the cat want to wage war on any and every moth that he/she comes into contact with? Why does Andy Templeton want to put his head in every open container around? Why is a cat the best pet ever to have in this world times fifty?!!? If I had a friend as good as the kitty's I've owned...geez ooowww petez! Top Cats: (not countin' Andy Templeton, and I'm partial to my own):

6)Pat.....Great name, good cat.
5)Killer...white, hairy, lethal, mean, stinky, and shit out a bunch on kittens!
4)Chloe & Zhoee...sorry for spelling, but these cats are a staple of JD and Beth! Big and big...I wouldn't want to meet these cats in a dark alley.
3)Fluffy...cat o' the year in 2001, 2002, 2003and 2005. Still an awesome feline specimen.
2)Boris...with a name like that...your a pimp cat and Chase he was not Fugly!
1)Artemus...alias-GOAT...is anyone gonna deny this fe-fine! Jon do you remember the noise he would make if you woke him up from a nap.

Andy Templeton has some great teachers...Chase when are you gettin' a baby cat? Be good!

I ain't done...where's the wiffle ball?

2006-09-15T03:42:00.000-04:00

Well, I ain't done! I can't believe no one has had this blog! Being 2301 and all has helped this blog come alive, but it is needed. What about Lost Creek?

How about:

1) The wore out places in the back yard that represents 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and home plate. I was home about two weeks ago and noticed that there are still little dirt spots on the infield where we played. Hitting in the garden is an out! (only in the summer) If you hit a ball near creek, well, it could possibly end the game (reference not being able to find ball). The best place to hit the ball is where the apple trees used to be. I believe our hard-a** dad is the only one ever to play burn out's...he's the man! Geez, wiffle ball is the best! Please add rules or memories.

2) How about the blizzard's that took place on back to back years (94 & 95)...I think. Chase made tunnels like a gopher in the snow. The men of LC plowed, shoveled and kicked snow everywhere. The Pam-cakes video taping us through the windows...classic. Life is full of gay men!

3) Jon, I played football in the elementary and won championships, middle school (got killed), and knee football (got powmped...Madden football). Knee football was probably the greatest sport ever knowed to Lost Creek. Chase and Joel Vs. JD and Laura our just JD. I really can't say a whole lot, but...AWESOME! My kids will play knee football! You can play it in the winter(snow days) or summer. 'Nuff said!

4) I have never hated anything in my life more than: workin' in the garden. I hate it! I would start working and before you knew it...dirt clods would be flying at Jess' head! Chase, you always seemed to enjoy it. Jon, I can see you in either a red NASA t-shirt or a yellow Riverside Basketball Camp t-shirt...another blog in itself! How come Paige and Laura always got out of the garden detail?

Guy's I hafta quit...I could go on for days!

It may be long, but it hit's hard!

2006-09-15T03:11:00.000-04:00

How's it goin' in the life of everyone else? Apparently, in G-burg the family had a great time socializing, but the bears own G-burg, and they have built an empire. Chase, I hafta give some ups to Alicia...I love her blog. Alex and myself love the tales of you saving the day 'cause a wasp tried to destroy hers, and how about the company Tylenol...they can cure anything. I honestly have a routine when internetin'. I first go to my fav's in alphabetical order...Alicia's blog...Cheeesay's blog...then J-deezy's blog. I figure it's best to start the day soft and silent (SBD), float to Che-says, a (SYITFBATYTWU), that is a Smack You In The Face Blog And Tell You To Wake Up blog, and I like to finish with a shot of (CBFGUDFWYCF), which is: country born, full grown urban shot of don't forget where you come from! Just to let you know guys I have about 4 troopers in Post 13 who check your blogs fairly regulary, so you might want to be on your best behavior...or not!

Jon, I believe I have the recipe to make to best ribs in the world...if Bobby Flay wants to "Throw Down w/some ribs...I believe he might be spendin' a night in the Ky River Detention Center (Hazard's Jail). Jon, I can't give the recipe up, but I cut slits in the ribs and pack them full of brown sugar and extree spices...they are the sh*t times fifty!

I hate the fact that me and Alleyhandria had to miss the intermediate family reunion...I don't care if I saw you all every weekend, I would still love to see you everyday! Chase, I passed a house in Beaver (Knott Co.) that had a Slap II goal still dunkable... it was awesome! Jon, I love to help build repoire with my company and all, but I played some Madden foosball with some kids on this new game-in-tv ports, if you know what I'm talkin' about.
Family...handle the biz!

Guys I apologize about the gap in Blogs, but I'm a lazy Bloggin' SOB (Son o' Blogger)!

Jon I called, but unfortunately Jess answered.

2006-06-27T15:27:00.000-04:00

I apologize for the lack of motivation towards this blog. It took some hardcore comment from the one who kept and still keeps it real to motivate me for a blog...thanks Jon. Things here in Knott Co. are as usual, and one could describe it with the same answer that this question would warrant. What do you think of the rectum as a hole? I kid...I swear. I've come to figure out that no matter where you are the summer sun makes everything o-right! I do miss having my weekends off. The endless nights spend on the I-pond throwing darts till my arm was sore, and then waking up and goin' to work at D&K and being greeted with a "Hell Fire!" from the greatest boss (Jon Goldey), or wrastlin' in the backyard, or literally owning some retarded neighbors for throwing a tennis ball at two lit country boys which they actually got off pretty lucky, but I defintely have to throw props up to Chloe and Zoey for some props. BURN!!! Jon I'll apologize for meeting a girl who can beat you and anyone else in cornhole (Alex). Jon we've had some good ones and even better ones to go. Also, I have also spent some endless summer nights jammin' with some buddies, but more importantly the only man that can keep a bass line jumpin' in his sleep...Chase or as Jelly-Role Fugate calls him Trace. Chase I do miss hangin' out in Charles' basement and listening to ridiculous arguments about anything. Chase, I will remind you about the times we spend at on Chandler's house on Old Quicksand Rd...boy its been a while.

Bottom line brothers, I hate that I have to work the weekends, and I don't get to spend the time that I want to spend with you, but right now I'm at the very bottom of one of Clay Fugate's totem poles. Guys I love ya and hope everything is great. I'll try to post a little more frequently, but I'll leave you with one little tasty nugget of philosphy. I've come to learn there a three types of people in this world. There are people:
1) who are peices of sh*t.
2) full of sh*t.
3) who are the sh*t.

I'll let you decide where you fall, but personally I am the......

Brand new day.....or was that yesterday.

2006-05-24T12:33:00.000-04:00

I decided to be part of the cool kids I saw on the internet posting the very funny and sometimes delicious blogs. Leave comments where needed or not....cause pretty soon you're gonna need a blog to wipe your ass.